Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Who You Gonna Vote For?

So I caught two minutes of the DNC tonight and just about puked – wait, wait, wait before the RNC, ‘cause I will have similar bilious responses.

I saw Hillary, is it Rodham or isn’t it, Clinton’s introduction narrated by Chelsea Clinton, a Stanford graduate – is that true? What happened to the ‘hood in Paly?

First of all, props to Christopher Titus who pimped me with the “wait, wait, wait” mantra, and I think it is brilliant, and I should take his advice...I’m a little disgusted and should “wait, wait, wait” before I write. But, I have never been one to take advice, and I write under a pseudonym, so, wtf?

First, what the f**k is her name? Is it Hillary Clinton or Hillary Rodham Clinton? It always changes. It was Rodham until it effected Bill’s election, then it wasn’t, then he was elected, and it was Rodham again, until he ran again, then it wasn’t, then it was, then it wasn’t. I guess it’s Rodham unless it’s electoral, then it isn’t.

Second, are we really that interested in someone who is willing to stand by a man who “never had sex with that woman.” I like his definition of sex, maybe it would be valuable in defining our relationships with Israel and Iraq?

But, to use your daughter, who clearly shuns the public, to announce that you have shattered the glass ceiling, by ignoring your husband’s clear infidelities, to further your power grubbing desires, is there no shame?

Well, I see the apocalypse coming. McCain will now use his prostitute to proclaim he is a good man, “he always tipped me well.” Biden will claim to have tipped his hooker better than McCain. McCain will then claim to have stood by his wife while she was double penetrated by Democratic insiders, to which Obama will claim to have watched his wife have sex with sheep.

Where does it stop? Pick a name, stick to it, leave your kids out of it. I know this is a ridiculous rant – it’s called satire. If you hate it, call Senator Clinton, but leave me out of it. Sorry, call Senator Rodham Clinton...or is it just Senator Rodham now? Well, call Chelsea’s mom, wtf?

But don’t call Stanford – and don’t send your kids there – they might end up condoning shtuff you don’t want them to, like Chelsea. Too much liberal thought does not make Chelsea a smart girl.

Tardy.

Spike