Today I planted crops, fought dragons and soldiers, wrestled an Anaconda, and saved a crewmember on a crab boat in the Bering Sea. Just another day in the work of a writer. What? You didn't know that we writers did shit like that? Yeah, yeah we do.

On any given day, I plant crops. I plough the land and make sure the irrigation works. If I have to, I carry irrigation pipes across fields to ensure proper watering of my crops. And I fertilize whole acres with a sophisticated fertilization system.

I fought scary dragons today too. Brown, with a hard shell and terrible pincers, they attacked me relentlessly as I tried to reclaim my castle. Each one I slayed gave way to another willing to take the last one's place, hard shelled dragons with pincers that were just relentless, continuously attacking me. I fought them all off before facing the army.

The enemy's army attacked relentlessly. I had a great weapon and kept hitting them as they came out of their fort, but they almost overwhelmed me with their numbers. They had giant maws with gnarly jaws that kept snapping and snapping. Their numbers were impressive and I decided to let the chemical weapons I had unleashed take their toll. I needed to focus on the crewman overboard in the Bering Sea.

I skillfully manipulated the crane over the lost crewman and released the hook, yelling to him to grab it. I knew the cold water had taken its toll and that he was a cork in the wine at this point. I grabbed the net, nestled it gently under him and pulled it to the surface. We were close enough at that point to reach out and grab him and pull him to the side. Whew, another life saved.

That's when I was attacked by the fifteen foot Anaconda. I managed to sap it's strength by killing it's drive. Carefully, I rolled it into a coil and placed it gently in its cage. Just another day as a Superhero.

My Diary entry will read: Planted some basil, sprayed some earwigs and ants. Scooped out the vacuum head from the pool and put the hose away.