New School

It's September and that means back to school for me and my kiddies and that means stress levels will be reaching an all time high right about now. I'm a teacher, you know, that's my day job. I'm a father too, that's my real job. But, I'm in school too and figuring out where that job fits is proving to be a challenge for me, both in terms of time and priority. Grad school seems selfish - it steals from my students, from my wife, and from my kids.

But, it adds to my depth and breadth of knowledge, benefitting my children and my students, and adds to my income by virtue of a lane change at work, benefitting me and my children. So, why is my graduate school always at the bottom of my priority list, the last thing I do, the thing I do at midnight after feeding, studying with, and bathing my kids?

It's because it is my personal realization, my selfish pursuit. It really is all about me, the writing, the reading, the analysis and the angst. I do it for me, not for them, or them, it's solely for me. I like to pretend it's about my students, about making more money for my family, but it isn't.

Don't kid yourself. Me going to school does make me a better teacher, does make me a better writer, does make me a better dad. But, that's not why I do it. I do it because I love it. And, because I love it, and I do it, that fulfills me. The fulfillment of self actualization, of learning, that makes me a better dad, a better teacher, a better husband.

At least that is my story. And, I'm sticking to it.

Spike